A female reader wants advise on what to do if she is trapped in an unhealthy unhappy marriage. She has dreams for her life, and this isn't it!
Female 33, UK
This is a difficult situation. I can so clearly relate. Before my husband's affair, I was in your position. Chronically unhappy. Chronically sad. Held captive by my life. By a husband who didn't know how to show me love or affection, how to relate to me or how NOT to stifle my dreams. I felt I was dying a slow death in "the perfect life".
I think honestly in my case, (almost 2 years before I discovered the affair), when I did my Vision Board, and dared to dream just a little, that I planted the seed in my mind that there was another life possible for me. The amazing or crazy thing about The Secret is that it works to fulfill that Big Picture dream for you.
I never would of imagined that the only way for me to fulfill my dreams was to have my marriage end the way that it did. But in truth, that's the only way that would of worked. I think the Universe knew that. It knew that I would of never had the courage to end it on my own, so it did it for me. People always ask me if when I found out he was cheating, if I tried to save my marriage. I always reply without hesitation "hell no!" Not because at the time I was thinking "this is my escape opportunity (which it turned out to be) but because at the time I thought "why on earth would I fight for someone who openly turned his back on me and our children?"
I guess what I'm trying to say is that in your case if you truly feel the fire in your soul for a different life, and you believe that it's possible, then it is. It will take immeasurable strength and courage to leave an unhappy life to start a new one, more so than my situation did.
But it can be done.
It sounds like that's a conscious decision you need to make for you and your family weighing out what is most important to you in life. Can you really see yourself living in your current situation until death?
We only have ONE life.
That's it. So I have always believed that taking chances and taking risk and being brave enough to follow your heart and your passion will pay off in the end. But you must be ready for hardship and struggle and be okay with that.
For me, though my life in most was intensely harder, especially the first year, I was 100% happier. Because for the first time in my life I was in charge. I called the shots. No one was there to shoot down my dreams. And 2 years latter I am achieving the dreams and life I set for myself when I was 13-14 years old. This is the life I always pictured myself living, but I NEVER could of lived this life with my ex husband, never.
So everything happens for a reason. Have faith in that fact.
My only advise is follow your heart, your soul conviction. You are stronger and more capable than you give yourself credit for, we all are. Just believe.
Good luck! keep me posted :)
~Written by Sarah Centrella for Thoughts.Stories.Life.