"I write this from a
Bangkok hotel. I am alone. I am a foreigner in a strange land, a stranger in a
foreign land.
Right now, it feels like
my whole life has collapsed around me. I'm told when doors close, new ones
open. So I wait, sometimes impatiently! How did I get here and where am I going
to?
Like most people, I am a work in progress, always eager to get better. I also make the best decisions I can based on what I know. What if this is not enough? Well usually it is, yet sometimes one is tested to the very edge of one's limits. Occasionally, one is provoked into expanding one's view of the world, and one's capacity to hope. This happened to me.
A journey back in time...
Within a few months I was
informed that the resort was shutting down and I shouldn't worry, as I would be
placed at another destination spa location. As the closing date approached, I
was informed that they were unable to place me. As a wellness professional at
the top of my game, I soon received 2 offers from international resort companies
in the Maldives and in Koh Samui. Then came an offer to be a Visiting
Practitioner with some of the most exotic spas in the world. It seemed just too
good to be true, and thinking back, perhaps it was. I accepted this offer,
turned down the others with apologies, and set off for 'greener' pastures.
While working at a spa in
Vietnam a couple of months later, I received an email canceling all my
contracts, no reason given – this just 2 days before being due in the Maldives
(flights, visa, contracts in place)! I was breathless, shattered, shocked.
The closest country I
could go to at such short notice was Thailand. I was subsequently given no
substantive reason for the cancellation of my contracts. Perhaps it would have
been easier to accept if I had actually done something wrong. I was quite
obviously set up by someone who didn't like me, or resented my cockiness, or
perhaps worse, felt threatened by me. These reasons are speculation, and
whatever the real reason was, it doesn't change a thing. Whatever predicament I
am in, is probably due to karma or destiny, or perhaps both. It cannot be
explained rationally.
I am alone in a hotel
room. I have few connections in Thailand, few choices seem available. I know
that opening my awareness is key, remaining grounded and steady is essential
even when the ship is bolting, and the universe seems to be imploding. Nothing
makes sense any more.
I turn to practical action. I apply for jobs. Doors close. I approach
friends. Doors close. I apply for an Australian visitors visa. It gets turned
down. I receive an invitation from a friend in Japan. I go to the Japanese
Embassy, and they tell me I cannot apply for a Japanese visa, as I am on a
tourist visa in Thailand. I consider alternatives. I apply for more jobs. Send
out a few desperate pleas for help. Nothing seems to be flowing.
I feel inspired to write
poetry, to dream, to create a future. I know that I can coach someone out of
their darkest night, as now I've experienced it myself. I know that things can
either get worse or they can get better.
I imagine new futures for
myself, new opportunities. Another friend tells me she sees me running a spa. A
psychic friend says that I am standing at the threshold of a new epiphany. A clairvoyant friend tells me I need gratitude – my soul was
getting too cocky and that's why my life backfired. Perhaps if I breathe and smile, everything will turn out better than expected?
In journeying through life, we get
swept by wave upon wave of expected and unexpected events. Sometimes we find
ourselves stuck without a plan, and learning about ourselves with or without a
map. Where does making plans begin and following the flow of life end? Fears
are triggered. Questions arise. Perhaps for a moment, we find stillness in our
heads, and experience our Divinity. The adventure with Spirit may come easily
to us. And then again, we are back into the mind, figuring out ways to get
ourselves out of the rut.
Perhaps I am not in a rut? Perhaps, I
am entering the flowering of my destiny, emerging into manhood. Perhaps I am a
butterfly who has finally been released from its cocoon. Perhaps, the folly of
my banishment will turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me?
To intentions...I want to evolve. I want to share my wisdom, my
visions, my consciousness with others who need support. I intend to be happy and peaceful - I intend to attract success
and happiness into my life. I intend to attract a loving partner into my life.
I intend to stay true to
myself, to stay real, be present and stay consciously aware of my creations.
I've read that you receive what you believe. Sometimes, you can't believe what
you receive. That doesn't change a thing. Life must go on. And where there is
life, there is hope. I cling to this with all my life."
~Written by Guest Author and reader of Thoughts.Stories.Life: David Arenson
David: is a Naturopath (trained in
Melbourne), multi-modality wellness professional (trained as Life/ Wellness
Coach in Sydney), holistic counselor – who advises people on mental, physical
and spiritual wellbeing. He can be reached via email at changeisme@gmail.com
*This is an interactive blog please leave your comments and thoughts, I will respond :)
Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing.
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