Friday, April 29, 2011

It Consumes.

You know that feeling? 
The one where butterflies turn into wings?
The one where it’s hard to breathe?
Your head spins and you can’t wipe the smile from your face?
The one where you know, this is abnormal…this is not like all the other times your insides skipped a little.

Monday, April 25, 2011

22 Rules for Dating

I love this list, I couldn't say it better myself! I think it goes along with much of the relationship advise I give, and is definitely one I try to follow myself...though I admit it's easier said then done!

Taken from, writer Ami Angelowicz lists off things she knew when she was younger about dating.

1. Try not to take anything personally when it comes to dating. Someone always has their own deal going on. We waste all this time trying to figure a dude out when really their motivations are beyond our grasp and often have absolutely nothing to with us at all.
2. Don't chase after a guy who has rejected you. Not even as a friend. Move on.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Stop Eating Cake!

Reader response from her question after reading my answer.  this reader question, Asking for a little more clarity:
"I do understand what you are saying, but how can I get happy if this makes me feel so bad like i can't go on. I can't not obsess because it's what I want.

Yes it does feel like that is what is happening. I feel unhappy about my job life home everything. but I thought that thoughts make things. So if I concentrate my thoughts on just the happy ending and happy feeling of being in love happy in a job and traveling will it happen? How can I make myself happy, when I'm really not."

~Female UK

It starts with baby steps. It starts with you sitting down and making  a huge detailed list of what YOU REALLY REALLY want in life. Leave him totally off your list, because he is too specific, too limiting to your dreams. Your real dream is to be madly in love and happy right?? So open your mind up to the idea that maybe there are other ways to get to that goal. 

Then go find pictures that represent every item on your list. Google Images is perfect for this, there are images for every phrase you can imagine. Print them and put your board up. Put it someplace where you see it all day every day. Then follow the steps in "Change the voices in your head" and "Belief 101". At first all you need to do is put the board up, and kill the voices. Change the subject on your brain every time you think about him or negative thoughts.
That's it.
Those 2 things are your fist assignment.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Sarah's Thoughts: Relationship Question

Her insecurities lead to a painful end to their relationship. They live in different countries now, but she is not able to get past it, to the point it consumes her life. She wants to know if The Secret will bring him back, and if focusing on positives will draw him back to her.
~Female reader in the UK

You said that The Secret brought you together, but that through your actions and insecurities you drove him away. And based on what you have described I can see how that would be true. Men do not like to feel trapped by a women who clings to them and cant function without them. At first they think it's kind of

Monday, April 18, 2011

Traditions. The Joy Of Parenting

I think one of the best things about being a mama/parent is getting to see your children delight in the traditions that you pass on to them. For some reason I have always, since I can remember been one of those people who was obsessed with tradition. Possibly because growing up, I wasn't really taught any to speak of.

I was raised unconventionally to put it mildly so all the occasions that people typically associate with tradition were not things that we celebrated, Christmas, birthdays, Easter ect. But still I remember being 8 or 9 years old and trying to create them. Even though we didn't observe holidays I wanted to at least cook the same dish every year on that day, or find a way to mark the day that would make it our own unique tradition. I was demanding and focused about it too. I don't think the rest of my family really cared one

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Change The Voices In Your Head

Beauty is in your perception.
"Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead" as PINK would say. I've talked a lot about how to believe lately on my blog and I think it's a critical step. But then someone asked "how do I even get there?" And I thought, what a great question. I remember when I was starting out and faith was just something I couldn't even get my head around. I wast ready for it yet.  I was so full of self-loathing and life-loathing that having faith it would get better, or that my dreams would come true, was an irrelevant starting point for me.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Belief 101

Teach yourself to really truly BELIEVE.

Belief 101:
  • Put up your Vision Board (representing the EXPERIENCES you want to have, and how those will make you feel, NOT the material objects). Read my blog "Your Challenge, Yes I mean You!" to learn how to create a good board. 
  • Speak and own your future. Don't say "I will", say "I do, I am".
  • Focus on THE BIG PICTURE DREAM!!! I cant overemphasis this point enough. Don't get caught up in the here and now. (Big Picture)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Believe. But HOW???

Why is it so hard for us to believe? I mean, really. I was talking to a friend about this the other day
when she asked me if I taught my kids to believe in Santa and other fairy-tales. I said no. But mostly because I wasn’t raised believing in them, so it was natural for me not to teach that to my children.

But then I got to thinking, it’s as if we are trained and genetically coded NOT to believe. In anything!  Picture a little child, one or two years old.  The parent is standing waist-deep in a swimming pool, and the child is standing on the ledge of the pool, crying.  Their knees are shaking, their chubby arms wrapped around their trembling little bodies in a self-protective hug. They are being asked by the one person they love most in the world, who has in past experience, never dropped or hurt them; to jump. They are terrified. They instinctively believe that they could drown, and are skeptical that their parent will be able to catch and protect them.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Should I leave a Bad Marriage?

Reader Question:
A female reader wants advise on what to do if she is trapped in an unhealthy unhappy marriage. She has dreams for her life, and this isn't it!
Female 33, UK

This is a difficult situation. I can so clearly relate. Before my husband's affair, I was in your position. Chronically unhappy. Chronically sad. Held captive by my life. By a husband who didn't know how to show me love or affection, how to relate to me or how NOT to stifle my dreams. I felt I was dying a slow death in "the perfect life".