Sunday, July 14, 2013

I Want More.

Have you ever felt, well... unsatisfied? Not unhappy. Not depressed. Not stressed. Just restless and an underlying feeling that there has got to be more to life than this? I guess I just want more.  I want it all.

I'm not complaining, I'm so happy to be out of Seattle and back where life is easier.  I'm so grateful for that, trust me. And the sun has shone hot every single day since moving back to Portland. But still there is this nagging feeling that I can't shake, that I've disappointed myself.  It feels like I've taken two steps backward rather than forward.  Maybe because going back home always feels that way to some degree, regardless of why.  But I can't shake the feeling that I failed in some way. Even though I always knew Seattle was not a move I wanted to make, but one I had to at the time, I'd still left. I'd gone somewhere and did something unexpected, difficult and I'd succeeded at it.


Coming back, just makes me feel like I failed somehow.  Like my real goal was to get all the way gone, and instead my wings were clipped and I took the easy option once again.  To make matters worse my bestie is moving to Washington DC, and my life long bestie is moving to NYC. The two cities I've always dreamed of living in, and here I am. Stuck in the North West. 

Sometimes I wish life was less complicated.  That I could have the freedom to follow my true hearts desire.  Sometimes I wish I didn't have to endlessly sacrifice and could just begin living the life I feel I've spent all of mine preparing for.  Sometimes I wish all the work I've put into my passion, writing/speaking/documentary/books would just pay off already.  That it would go somewhere, turn into something.

Being a single mom with three kids, nothing is ever easy, or simple. It will always take extra courage, faith and preparation.  But nothing is impossible right?



~Written by: Sarah Centrella for Thoughts.Stories.Life.
*This is an interactive blog please leave your comments and thoughts, I will respond :)

2 comments:

  1. I constantly feel this way, that there has to be something more. I've grown up in Texas my whole life, and all of my best friends are fairly close by, but often times I feel like there has GOT to be more to life! Something more exciting. Most days I feel like I have a lack of direction, though. I'm not exactly sure what my calling is, which is frustrating. But it seems like you have a LOT of great things in the works. The fact that you have specific goals and plans is really great. It will all pay off one of these days! I'm really enjoying reading your blog. Thanks for sharing! :)

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  2. hi sarah i'm a 24y.o girl from a small country in europe and i just wanted to thank you for sharing your life story. 2 months ago I read your story on the secret website and it is because of you that I started to use the LOA. I ve always been a daydreamer but never really believed I could make my dreams come true, but because of you I now believe with all my heart. thank you for that. I have been depressed since childhood and so I was always a very negative person but something happened after reading your story, i began to think about why i was so depressed and negative. something I always thought of as being the reason behind my depression but always affraid, I guess ,of admitting it and talk about it..for the first time in my life I realized AND admitted I was physically and emotionally abused in my childhood.by both my parents andI was always bullied by my older siblings until i finally left and went to live with my boyfriend. At 24 I'm beginning to talk about this abuse and a weight has fallen off my shoulders and I finally am confident and I'm enjoying life and I know I am going to live the life I've always wanted and dreamed of! aint nothing and no one gonna pull me down now. again. .thank you for sharing your story. you are my inspiration and motivation to live my life to the fullest, the life I want and deserve. - xo - from a girl from Belgium

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